Barefoot
by Ashfae
Summary: Songfic. Contains spoilers about Kenshin's past.


Barefoot

  


by Ashfae

* * *

_It is midnight in Kyoto, but darker than any of night's shadows is the one who walks through the streets, two swords belted on his waist._

When the sun goes down here   
and darkness falls   
the blanket of winter   
leaves no light at all 

_The aftertaste of sake is bitter in his mouth, but not as bitter as the taste of blood. His heart is heavy within him, and he does not know how to lift it. He is protecting the world as best he knows how--why then such guilt? Why does night follow him, why is winter always beckoning? _

There is a sound, and someone blocks his path. He is used to confrontation; the battle is over quickly and without thought, all his motions automatic, his victory foretold. And his heart that much heavier. 

Someone lets out a cry; he looks up. A woman stands there, her face as stoic and immobile as a porcelain mask. 

"So you're the one who makes it rain." 

He is struck dumb with amazement, and only barely manages to catch her as she faints. 

You search for shelter   
to calm the storm   
shaking with an instinct   
just to stay warm 

_Months pass, and she stays with him. She asks no questions, and he is too shy to ask any of her. She never berates him for what he does, never shows anger or fear or disgust. And yet the few times she does speak, her words reverberate inside him. She walks in silence and watches him, and slowly he begins to trust her. Slowly, the taste of blood vanishes from his mind, replaced by the scent of white plum blossoms. Slowly, he begins to want...the first time he has ever let himself want something just for himself, for him to keep and protect and cherish. _

One day he is asked to leave the city, to go into hiding. She is told to accompany him and pretend to be his. He asks that they try to make it something more than pretend. But she makes no answer. 

But I'd walk through the snow barefoot   
If you'd open up your door   
I'd walk through the snow barefoot 

_And so they leave the city's night behind._

You hear the howling   
of dogs in wind   
stirring up the secrets   
that are frozen within 

_She works beside him in the fields, but does not sleep in the bed next to him at night. She is silent because she never knows what to say. She is impassive because each smile that escapes is a betrayal of her purpose, a reminder that she is no longer certain of what she is here to do. But once in a while she does smile, and once in a while she does think of things she wishes to say to him._

The ice will haunt you   
and lay so deep   
locking up inside you   
the dreams that you keep 

_Her nights used to be filled with tears and memories of her dead fiancee; now she thinks of harvest, and red hair glinting in sunlight. She goes to meet the people who wish to destroy her new beloved, and lies to them. But they still find a way to use her, to bring him down. _

She runs forward, putting herself between him and death. In that instant, for the first time in months, she knows no confusion. And she smiles unafraid. 

But I'd walk through the snow barefoot   
If you'd open up your door   
I'd walk through the snow barefoot 

_He screams her name, feeling the knife-edge of grief rip through him. But as always, she is silent. _

As time passes, the wound begins to close, knit together by ice and steel. Eventually, it stops hurting...but he does not forget. 

And it is always winter. 

This wind through my soul blows cold... 

_It is years before he finds spring again; it hides deep in the eyes of a young girl. She has more courage and joy than anyone he has ever known. The longer he stays with her, the more he thaws, until he is awed by the depth of his feelings for her. He knows that he can deny her nothing...but he is afraid of what is melting inside him, afraid of the night that still chases him. All he can do is guard her and hope that she never knows winter._

But I'd walk through the snow barefoot   
If you'd open up your door   
I'd walk through the snow barefoot 

_She knows this; she knows. She sees the darkness in his eyes and is unafraid, but hurts more every time he turns away from her. He is sun and stars to her life, but can only circle around her...never drawing closer, never quite leaving. She tries every day to approach him, but the distance remains. _

Still, she is patient. Winter is already past; once he realizes that, she will teach him how to live in summer. It is only a matter of time before he understands that she is the one guarding him. 

I'd walk through the snow barefoot   
If you'd open up your door   
I'd walk through the snow barefoot... 

* * *

The characters of Rurouni Kenshin are the property of other people. The song "Barefoot" is by k.d. lang. Both are used without permission. 

ashfae@technicaldetails.org   
http://www.ashfae.net 


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